Esmé Eats (For A Price)

The off-duty guards stared at the dish Queen Diana placed on the table, looks ranging from concerned to intrigued to disgusted.

”This is a bowl of Queen Iola’s famous stew,” Diana said, her tone exaggerating the word ‘famous’.”

Nervous giggles erupted from some of the guard, who had only heard rumors from others, while the ones who had been to the Verdant Castle backed off immediately.

”I’m offering one week of vacation time and a 5000 crystal bonus to whichever of you can eat the most of this and keep it down,” Diana announced, settling into a chair at the table with a grin. “An extra week and another 5000 crystals if you can eat the entire bowl.”

”Not worth it, I’m out,” announced one of the oldest guards, who backed away. “Don’t do it,” he warned the others.

Soon, only a few of the youngest guards remained, each eyeing it speculatively.

Esmé knew well from her cousin Cecilia that Queen Iola’s cooking was awful, but she’d eaten some pretty nasty things in dares with her twin sister. As… unappetizing as the stew looked, with the strange color and a slightly nauseating scent, a 10,000 crystal bonus and two weeks of vacation time sounded pretty damn sweet to her, and she could guess the others remaining with her were thinking similar thoughts.

One of them took the spoon off the table, and put it into the stew. They grimaced as they saw the way it didn’t quite sink into it, and how they had to dig, and left it that way. “How does she think this counts as food?” they asked Diana, wide-eyed.

”Great question!” Diana replied, grinning as she looked at the remaining group.

Another one managed to get the spoon into their mouth before they wound up quickly putting it down, already retching slightly, and sprinted to the trash to spit it out. “Nope…”

That took out the rest of the competitors, except for Esmé, who pulled the bowl over to herself, determined.

”Oh stars, Esmé, don’t fucking do it…” one of the older guards muttered.

Esmé still had to steel herself a little bit as she put the spoon into her mouth, but she made it through, doing her best to swallow with minimal chewing. She was already five thousand crystals richer and had one week of vacation just for that, but she was determined she was going to get through the bowl.

”Eurgh, how can you eat that?” another guard asked. They hadn’t even been willing to try it. “I’d throw up if I tried.”

”Skill issue,” Diana and Esmé said, an accidental chorus.

Esmé wished she had some water - but that wasn’t available. Probably on purpose to make the challenge harder. Well, regardless, she was going to try to get through the whole bowl.

By the time she finished it, some of the guard had gotten bored of the spectacle, but there were enough left to cheer for her as Diana handed over the crystals.

”I wasn’t sure if any of you were going to actually get through it,” Diana said, amused. “What are you going to do with your vacation?”

Esmé grimaced slightly, already beginning to feel what the stew was doing to her stomach. “…once I’m done being sick from this, you mean?”

”Yeah.”

”I’ll figure out once I am done with that,” she said drily, standing and going to the nearest fountain to gulp water. The way her stomach felt… she had a feeling she was going to be spending at least a day in the bathroom before she could have her vacation. How on Aerius did King Nero have a life? (…was this why he and Queen Iola didn’t have any children? Did he spend too much time in the bathroom to have sex? Poor man…) Oh well, at least two weeks off would hopefully be worth it.